This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
