Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i was born a porn star she said
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
