His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
