Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
