did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
