Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
