is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
