names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
