dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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