At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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