You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
