hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think people are normalizing furries
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
