You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
is wine microwaveable?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Randomize
