I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
