some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
