I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
