It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
