Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Randomize
