Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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