I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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