but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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