I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
it's like heaven, but drunker
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
