Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
