I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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