Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Ladies don't puke and tell
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
