He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
