from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
