She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
