...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
