Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
