yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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