batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
