You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
