garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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