Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
In other news, I just burned my penis
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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