if you like me you must not know who I am
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
