He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
