I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
