That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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