What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
