I wish I could punch you in the face.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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