I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
