I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize