I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
