If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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