So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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