Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
