Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
