what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
