That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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