My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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