I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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