I think I won the penis lottery.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
