David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
