How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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