my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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