direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
